I am not too thrilled with my job these days.
I work at a large consulting firm that was spun off from one of the then-Big Six accounting firms.
I work with a “business rules engine“. Nobody seems to know what on earth this is. One time I told someone the systems I help create implement health care policies for states, and he thought that I made the policy. I told him the state governments create the policy. Another guy thought that I did something with firewall rules.
The Austin office mostly does government work. I can’t say why, but I would prefer to be in the private sector. Plus I don’t really like the technology that I am working with. If I tried to get another job, I think all the offers I would get would be for what I am doing now.
I am not too confident in my status at work right now. I was on one project for a year, and since January I have been on four different projects. Perhaps they are sending me a message. I have never really liked any job that I have had. The benefits are nice. They were nice at the large, multinational bank. But there I did not really like the technology I worked with either. I spend some of my own time learning a new (to me) programming language that I would like to get a job in. I know it is odd to some people that I spend all day at a desk in front of a computer, and then I go home to sit at another desk in front of a computer. But if I don’t learn on my own, then I will never get a job in it. A lot of people who do not work in technology either think that it’s all the same, or that you can just go out and get any old technology job any old time. It is not like that at all. At least it never has been for me.
Granted, I do not work as much as I should on my own. I will drive home on Friday, and think about all the things I plan to do, but spend most of the weekend pacing, looking at other sites, or just not doing much of anything. I don’t go out too much. That is partially by choice. I do not like spending money. But it not conducive to meeting the ladies. I don’t meditate as much as I would like or as much as I plan. I don’t work out as early as I would like. I would like to do it when I wake up, but, as stated, I just put it off. Some days I don’t do it at all.
WRT working out, maybe I am worried that the neighbors will complain about the noise, and I will have to cut it short. Or maybe I have this weird fear that I will weaken the structural integrity of my apartment. Granted, if that is the case, the people above the people next door are really hurting this building.
Speaking of the ladies: I go to meetups, some tech related, some not, but they are still mostly guys. Even the non-tech ones. The non-tech ones are usually related to atheism, skepticism, or geek culture. I seem to go for activities that elicit little to no interest from women: atheism, martial arts, science fiction. Maybe there are plenty of women in those fields, but I have just spent my life in cities where women only care about going to church, getting drunk, or going shopping. (I don’t know about other countries, but if you do not have a religion or drink booze, the USA is a large empty space.) I know that some people get married and have children, but somehow I think that does not explain the imbalance.
When I was in Chicago I did ask a woman in the Chicago Skeptics what the heck women do with their time. She said that a lot of women feel socially isolated because their husbands/boyfriends go out and leave the ladies at home. So much for pairing off and having lots of hot sex. I guess I am even more disconnected from humanity than I thought.
It has also occurred to me that maybe I am not as smart as I thought I was, or as smart as people have been telling me. I don’t seem to get the hang of things at work as quickly as others. I have been going to a few meetups centered around board games. Usually I come in last. A few times I won at Thunderstone, and I won twice in a row in Ticket To Ride. (I have retired with my record intact.) But at just about all the others I do terribly.
Anyway, I hope I don’t get caught in The Chasm Of Death: Let go from my job before I have enough skills in the technology that I like to get a job in it.