A list of things you never hear, with a few I wish I did hear.
- Daddy didn’t mean those harsh things he said. That was the meditation talking.
- I only wrapped my car around the tree because I was concentrating on my driving.
- I only had sex with that person because I was aware of what I was doing.
- I only lost my job because I was following the Five Precepts.
- My wife left me due to my skillfulness.
- I got into that fight due to right speech.
- I heard about this sangha with a lot of hot women. (I do wish this was more common.)
- I want a man who is serious about meditation. (I wish more women felt this way.)
- I am going to become an alcoholic because Buddhism ruined my life.
- I want a guy who meditates and wants lots of sex. (Again, I wish more women felt this way.)
Big Jim wishes more women were interested in meditation than alcohol.